![]() | ![]() Solo and Chewie Walk Into a Bar
Han Solo, Chewbacca, C3PO and R2D2 roll into a bar.
"This is not a joke," says Solo, glaring at the bartender. The bartender shuts his mouth.
C3PO says, "Sir, I don't think it is respectful to order people around like that, he was just trying to greet you."
"I don't want to be greeted, I want liquor."
Chewbacca always sounds like somebody just stepped on his foot; he makes that sound now.
"Relax, big furry, you'll get your shot of Kowakian Rum."
C3PO turns to the bartender, "You have to forgive him, he forgot his anniversary."
R2D2 chooses this moment to whistle, which C3PO reacts to, "Just because Princess Leia threw the Sceptor of Ragnos at him, doesn't mean she is mad."
R2D2 emits a snorting sound, or maybe it's more like a snigger, possibly because the Sceptor missed Solo, and hit the Royal Garderobe behind him which immediately burst into flames with a smell that drove all four of them out of the castle.
The bartender sets out a tankard of rum for Chewbacca, a shot of whiskey for Solo, a can of WD 40 for C3PO and a micro SD card for R2D2. Chewbacca downs the rum in one gulp, makes the foot being stepped on sound once more and collapses; out cold. R2D2 picks up the SD card and sticks it in a slot underneath his eyepiece. After one second the little robot starts to shake, slowly at first then with greater speed and amplitude until it falls over and vibrates on the floor.
C3PO picks up the can of WD40 and sprays it like deoderant under his arms, "Thank the maker, I needed that." His eyes go glassy and he freezes in place.
Solo picks up his glass, "Never could hold their liquor," he says to the bartender. He takes a swig, immediately mellowing as the whiskey hits him, "What was that you were saying?"
The bartender coughs, "I just wanted to say May the Fourth be with you."
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4 May 2023
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